Father: A great assert in the lives of children

Unfortunately, much of the societies are trying to play down the value of a good father in a child's life

By Yemti Harry Ndienla

Last Sunday was Father’s Day. I can't remember the last time I spent Father's Day with my dad. But I know he was such a wonderful person. Some of you didn't know my dad, but chances are you knew someone like him - an exceptional technician at the famous Administrative Garage Buea – Annex. Until he took up permanent residence in heaven a little above half a decade ago, the man loved his job. Yes, dad loved his job. But loved his family even more. Seriously, dad was a good husband and father.

My dad probably wouldn't admit this, if he was alive today but he was a feminist at heart. He grew up in a family of girls who jealously took great care of their children. Thus he assumed he would have children to share in his passion – making them happy. Yes, he did make not only us but all our friends happy. This, he was given several nicknames which I would spare you the trouble of going through.

He was always there for us. He took care of us like a woman and made it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

Though his memory partially failed him during the last few years of his life, my dad struggled to recall many things about our childhood life, especially those cemented in his head, like teaching us how to climb a tree, go to the farm, taking a short path (corny road) to school etc. Growing up in the “quarters”, we didn’t know places akin to Parks, and “Chucky Cheese”, unlike some of our friends at GRA, Old Government Station, Federal, and Clark’s, quarters. Whatever the case, I was pretty lucky for such a wonderful father. Lucky, indeed.

Last Sunday, I figured most dads and kids doing pretty much the same thing, but in a different environment and manner. I figured mola Mbella Ndoko, aka “Mola Daddy” a loving father in Chicago, playing with his little daughter as she picks her steeps around the lobby. I equally figured mola Mbome Fritz, another loving father from Schaumburg, Chicago, talking sports while watching TV with her breath catching beautiful daughter - Alexis Mojoko. Just like mola Dibussi Tande, playing “hide and seek”, with his son and best friend - Mokali. Besides, that’s typically what dads and their kids do when they are together.

If that sounds like your own dad, you're a very lucky person. Lucky like me.

Fathers really need to dedicate time; I mean quality time with their children. "The parents' bonds are protective against a myriad of problems," said Nadia Ansary, a professor at Rider University in New Jersey.

A recent survey found that children, daughters especially whose relationships with their dads were trusting and communicative had significantly better trust and communication with boyfriends than those who did not have such a strong bond with their fathers. "I think that's a valid theory in that she's seeing a male role model that's more balanced in a nontraditional sense," said Smithivas, a stay-at-home dad.

Unfortunately, much of the societies are trying to play down the value of a good father in a child's life. Not because in America for example about 85% of inmates and 80% of convicted rapists were raised by single parents. Or that about 75% of teen pregnancies come from fatherless homes.

Of course, a single parent can do it single-handedly when the father is deficient. But if we don't stop downplaying the importance of good fathers, then all of us will pay for it...one way or another.

Don’t be a runaway dad, please.