Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Violence Against Men on the Rise in Cameroon

Some Financially Powerful Women Here Would Not Tolerate Any Unhealthy Behavior from a Man

By yemti ndienla
Violence against men by women has become very common in our society. Women in some parts of Cameroon say violence on men is commonplace now with the emancipation of women. And that some financially powerful women would not tolerate any unhealthy behavior from a man who just feels big sometimes without anything to contribute to the running of the home.

They believe some men are increasingly becoming irresponsible. "We know that we are supposed to be submissive in order to be loved but once a man takes that as a weakness you cannot but fight back. And this is either by insulting, beating if you can or denying him some life's pleasures," says Tabi Ayuk.

However, in a recent study conducted by the Herald, women hold that it is only when a woman is provoked beyond a certain degree that she can be brutal to a man whom they hold is Biblically the head of the family irrespective of what he has.

Whatever the case there are many women who would not hesitate to beat up their husbands once they are wrong. Most of these women are financially independent and most often are the breadwinners in their families and would not understand why a woman who is being fed would behave funny. They would either resort to beating if they can or other sorts of demeaning treatments like denying food and other life's pleasures to their husbands as punishment. "You would not expect a woman who is not given food money to be hot about what the man would eat or a woman whose husband openly cheats on her to be happy to make love with him," says Mercy Ijang.

Besides, most women use their mouths to inflict pain on men. Since most women have realized they are physically weak "they use their mouths to do what even a hundred strokes of a cane would not do. Picture a woman who would not allow her husband to say a word during any conversation at home. This is violence," says Nkongho Bate.

Alice Mbande, urged other woman especially those married to men she described as irresponsible husband, not to pamper them even when they assume their functions as husband and father. Hear her, "you know there are men who would not give you a franc or gives you an insignificant amount of money but go out there to drink crates of beer and sponsor free women. To show your dissatisfaction you cannot but inflict pain on him either psychologically or physically, so that he shares your pain."

Though most women are patient, tolerant and recognize the God-given right of the man as the head of the family, others use violence on men to correct some of their unhealthy behaviors. No doubt some men have the habit of drinking excessively, cheating on their wives and doing things that are not dignifying to their wives. "Powerful women would not hesitate to beat sense into such a man with the intention to bring him back to order," says Sophie Taku.

On this score Nicole believes men are the cause of their problem. Hear her "It is true that women perpetrate violence on men but we must underline here that men are usually the cause. Once a man becomes irresponsible and cares less or little about his wife and children, you would not expect the woman to carry that entire burden and still be as submissive as she would be if the man were responsible,"

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