Cameroonians disagree over bride price

While some say bride price is a tradition that should be maintained, others call for its abolishment, saying it enslaves the woman

Yemti Harry Ndienla

Bride price is the amount of money paid to the bride's family either before or after marriage. The amount and rituals however vary among the over 200 tribes in the republic of Cameroon. But while people strongly believe bride price should be paid as part of African tradition,but that it shouldn’t be as if the family is selling the woman to a man
others ague that it should not, talk less of it being the first thing before marriage. Reason being that men have taken the amount of money paid as bride price as pretext to rain insults on the woman each time they are not in good terms. And that It is very traumatizing when a women is referred to as property simply because money was paid on her.

“Bride price should be paid before marriage, if not there is no marriage. Our tradition stipulates as a pre-condition for marriage the payment of bride price. And when families of parties intending to marry sit to discuss conditions for marriage, after the consent of the wife’s parents is got the next issue the bride price. It also makes the husband have respect for the marriage as he struggled before having it. What manner of man in Africa would marry a woman without paying a bride price”? Questioned, Andela Nadege, from the Northwest province of Cameroonians adding “If he does then he is not man enough”.

But Dominique Tajeu, from West Cameroon says “It is bad. No to bride price before marrying a woman. When bride price is put as a condition for marriage, most men who can pay finally take the woman as a good bought with their money. This, in other words, is trading human beings for money which to me is very bad”.

Meanwhile others say bride price is absolutely necessary because men marry today and divorce tomorrow whereas if they are charged something substantial and obliged to comply before marriage, they may value the money and save the wife from the trauma of divorce that is common these days.

Though not for or against, Fabiola, from East Cameroon believe any serious man would not come and take a girl without finding out about her family. But that to put a price tag on the girl is not normal and that here are people who will struggle and pay the bride price and when the woman is already in the house, they will have nothing to eat. “This also discourages people from marriage as those who are still struggling to make ends meet would find it very difficult to marry, and so women are left to themselves”.

Like Nadege, Ali, from North Cameroon think, bride price is very necessary because it shows the worth of a woman. To her women on whom bride price is not paid are usually maltreated in their marital homes as most men would use words like, “I helped your family by taking you!” It makes for seriousness in marriage she added and recommends that it should be paid before marriage because to her “most men would invite women to stay with them just to destroy their lives and later dump them. I think the payment of bride price makes the prospective husband serious with the marriage relationship”.

Others like Tambe Ayuk, Mbua Eric, Enjema Shasha, say It all depends on the kind of marriage the two parties want to contract. “If it is a statutory marriage then bride price is not a pre-condition, but if it is a customary marriage then it should be paid”, says Mbua. While Ayuk says “at times the two kinds of marriage are contracted at the same time, that is the celebration of the marriage traditionally and then the solemnisation at the registry. In this case the bride price should be paid”.

Others believe bride price is supposed to be a symbolic amount, not a price tagged on the woman to be married. And that what scares men today from marriage is huge sums of money and other material things some families demand before giving their daughters to marriage. “I think men should be allowed to go with their wives if they cannot afford the bride price. But again, if it is just symbolic and within reach it should be paid”, says Mukete