Women and husband’s former girlfriend (s): Enemy or friends?

Two trends of thought pervade the answers of respondents in a recent survey conducted in Cameroon. The first is that it is good for a former girlfriend to attend such a wedding because she and others would get to know that the man no longer has anything in common with her. While the second trend of thought is that the ex-girlfriend should be prevented from doing so in order not to jeopardize the new relationship.

By Yemti Harry Ndienla

Many claimed to know how wicked girls could be towards others especially when it concerns a boy. “Some of them, knowing that they have been dumped, attend the weddings of their former boyfriends just to cause confusion. My wedding day would be the happiest day in my life and I would not want anything that would disturb it. Also, allowing her to attend your wedding may give her the opportunity to reconcile with your husband and so cheat on you thereafter,” says Celia. Adding, “I would not like my husband’s former girlfriend to attend my wedding because she would likely take advantage of her presence at the wedding to cause discord in my marriage. You know very well that the human heart is wicked. Knowing that she no longer has anything to gain or lose, she might do just anything. It is good to take precautions. If she were a good woman my husband would have married her”.

Unlike Celia, Mary claims she would accept her husband’s former girlfriend to attend her wedding without second thought. This to her would give the ex-girlfriend the opportunity to know that her husband no longer belongs to her (The “Ex”), and also an indication to the fact that she holds no grudge against the “Ex”.

To Matilda, “it would be madness to allow my husband’s former girlfriend to attend our wedding. It has been proven that most men who allow their “Ex” to attend their wedding usually lose concentration when they see the girls in the hall. On our wedding day we need to focus and concentrate well on what is said and done and I would not like to see someone who could jeopardise this concentration in one way or the other”.

Others say they would allow her to attend the wedding on condition that she is married. And that she would be given VIP treatment for being the first to know the husband. “If she is not married, allowing her to attend my wedding would be synonymous with inviting trouble to myself because women are jealous and could be dangerous”.

Kevine says it would depend on her husband for the “Ex” to attend. “I don’t know who his former girlfriends are. The fact that he is getting married to me means that he preferred me to all others. So if after rejecting them they still want to attend his wedding then it’s left to them. But their presence at the wedding should not be with any intention to perturb the activities of the day. They should simply enjoy themselves, surely, in envy”.

To Mecy, it would be sheer provocation for her husband’s former girlfriend to attend her wedding in the same way as it would be unacceptable for her former boyfriend to attend her wedding. Hear her, “common sense would not permit that as anything can happen along the line. You know that in church the officiating priest or pastor usually asks if there is anybody in the congregation who for any reason would not want that the couple be joined in holy matrimony. How would it look like if such a person were there and raises an objection?” she questioned.

Though Elizabeth is of the opinion that her husband’s “Ex” should attend she warns, she or they should behave themselves”, adding, “Marriage is a life union between one man and one woman. Every other person is excluded. So if he is marrying me it is clear that he has no intention of keeping the other girlfriend(s). And if I am that girl I would not attend his wedding even if he invited me. But some girls still muster the courage to do so”.