Women share views on living without a boyfriend

The responses conducted during a recent survey are as interesting as they are varied. Many who answered in the affirmative said they did so not of their own violation, and that it was a frustrating experience.

By Yemti Harry Ndienla

While others said they deliberately avoided a boyfriend in order to be faithful to God, many hold that their boyfriends’ irresponsible behavior forced them to keep away that long, and that they felt satisfied staying alone. However, others were simply not interested in having a boyfriend but their education.

Lydia once lived for over six months without a boyfriend when her partner traveled abroad. However, she intimated, “staying without a boyfriend for that long wasn’t easy for me. But I hadn’t any choice. The saying that out of sight is not out of mind became a reality. I could not sleep or read because of the vacuum of his absence. I felt really bored, and that was when I knew how important he was to me”.

Like Lydia, Lucy once stayed for more than six months without a boyfriend and that she had peace of mind doing so.
Unlike Lydia whose boyfriend traveled abroad, Lucy stayed after realizing that hers’ was a cheat who entertained other sexual relationships. “He was also a liar, a drunk and uncaring. As soon as I quit the relationship, I felt some peace in me. You know it is better to live alone than have a cheat in the name of a boyfriend”, Lucy added.

Though Jacqueline once lived for more than six months without a boyfriend, she vowed never to repeat "such a bitter experience". Hear her “my boyfriend traveled abroad, leaving me to worry here alone. I have never been as disturbed as I was during that period. The Bible says as iron sharpens iron so does one man sharpen the other. I wish to borrow from it to say that as the woman sharpens the man so does the man to the woman and when one is not there life cannot be interesting”.

Though Jabeh claimed she has never stayed for six months or more without a boyfriend since she started dating, she however intimated, “I know how difficult and traumatizing it could be staying for that long without one especially for some of us who are already used to boyfriends. Girls or women who have gone through that experience usually say it’s not worth experiencing”.

“Honestly it is difficult staying single. I once chose to stay without a boyfriend not because I had a problem with one but because I wanted to experience how life without a boyfriend could be. During that period I felt lonely and life was boring since I shared my joys and sorrows with no one”, says Maryline.

Lum who stayed for over a year without a boyfriend, says it was a horrible experience. “I was pushed into that solitary life by the sudden death of my boyfriend. I felt frustrated as I had nobody to share in my joys and sorrows. In fact, it was like I had embraced all the world’s problems. Creating a new relationship was not easy since in our society it is a man that approaches the woman and not the other way round”.
Honorine who has never had a boyfriend feels it’s not important for her at the moment because her target in life is education. “I think I am not yet ripe to have a boyfriend; maybe in future I would want to have one”.
Linda stayed for over six months after she discovered most of her boyfriends were interested in her just to satisfy their sexual desires. And that she wanted to focus and get married because keeping casual sexual relationships would not pay.
Mary stayed for over six months without a boyfriend in other to dedicate herself to God’s work and to get closer to Him. “This was because I realized I could do without a boyfriend and not without God. The other reason was that I wanted to escape from constant sexual harassment from my boyfriend. I felt normal during that period and it dawned on me that I could live without a boyfriend”.
On her part Serah says she has never stayed for six months or more without a boyfriend “not for sexual purposes but given that naturally a woman needs a male companion who can share in her joys and sufferings”.
On the other hand Martina claims she stayed for five years without a boyfriend and is prepared to stay much longer until God gives her a husband! Reason being that “I have Christ in me and Christ gives me more satisfaction than any boyfriend can give. With Christ everything is under control and normal”.